Many Americans will remember watching as a child Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood which aired on PBS for thirty years. The TV show had an impact on millions of children. Fred Rogers would begin his show by singing his now famous song, “Won’t You Be My Neighbor?” Then he would address a difficult topic in a calm, simple, and direct way. The recent movie, “A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood” starring Tom Hanks, portrays a man known for his kindness, empathy, love, and patience—qualities that are needed now more than ever.
Bystander Apathy
However, research shows what we already know from everyday experience—that we are becoming less and less neighborly as a society. Neighborly love as expressed in the “Golden Rule” (do to others as you would have them do to you”) is easier if it is embedded in personal relationships and a strong sense of community. On the other hand, trust and the willingness to help others is “thinner” as social relationships become less personal and people are regarded as “the generalized other.” Often the Golden Rule becomes the “Silver Rule”—Do not do to others as you would not have them do to you.” The little word “not” makes a big difference. The Silver Rule may prevent us from harming others; but it doesn’t require us to help others.
We see this in the phenomenon of “bystander apathy.” We have all heard of reports in the news in which people in a group of bystanders witness harm being done, yet do nothing to help or stop the harmful activity We’ve all found ourselves in similar situations, when we’ve driven past a car stranded by the side of the road and even when we’ve noticed litter on the sidewalk but did not stop to pick it up. We may witness a problem but respond by doing… well, nothing. We remain bystanders. Why? We may assume that someone else will respond. There may be fear that if I get involved something bad will happen to me. Or that if I did not directly cause the problem or commit the crime, I am not responsible. As Ken Wytsma puts it, “If we do the minimum, we think is required of us, we can believe we have done enough. If we avoid doing something bad, we can believe we are good people.” (Pursuing Justice, 194
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To Whom Am I a Neighbor?
The parable of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:25-37) is one of the best known of Jesus’ parables. But there are elements of this parable that we frequently miss or dismiss.
First, Jesus redefines “neighbor.” The lawyer wants a response to the question “Who is my neighbor?” (10:19) so he can limit his moral obligation of mercy to a select group of individuals. Jesus, on the other hand, asks the question “Who is being a neighbor to the man in need? (10:36). He expands and changes the meaning of “neighbor” to include anyone who keeps the law of love. In other words, rather than worry if someone else is a neighbor, the lawyer (and by implication each of us) should ask “What kind of person should I be through my actions?” or “To whom am I a neighbor?” Instead of assessing other people, Jesus says, focus on being a certain kind of person—one who overcomes divisions and moves from exclusion to inclusion.
Second, Jesus radicalizes the meaning of neighbor. Jesus’ listeners characterize people as “good” or “bad” based on whether they are part of the “in-group” (Jews; proselytes) or members of an “out-group” (gentiles; Samaritans). But Jesus chooses the most unlikely person—a member of a socio-cultural group that is despised and rejected—to be an example of compassion. In choosing a Samaritan as his hero Jesus provides commentary on Jewish societal attitudes of the day that is shocking, subversive, and even scandalous. His parable reminds us that it is not membership in a group or external characteristics, but the condition of the heart that matters to God. It forces us place ourselves in the story. Who in our own culture is represented by the characters in this story? How do we similarly make judgments about who is part of the in-group (those like us who are “good”) and who belongs to an out-group (those unlike us who are “bad”)? Which of the characters am I most like?
Third, Jesus universalizes the neighbor. Dr. Martin Luther King observes that the temptation is always to define the word “neighbor” to mean people of our own tribe, our own race, our own class, or our own nation. But Jesus shows us that love of neighbor is not limited by race, nationality, or belief. In Jesus’ story, the one who turns out to be a neighbor to the wounded traveler is not a fellow Jew but a person of another race. Despite the history of animosity between the two groups, the Samaritan does not allow stereotypes or fears from helping the victim. He practices what Dr. King calls “dangerous altruism.”
Finally, Jesus personalizes the relationship between the neighbor and the stranger. The danger is that we will love at a distance. Our response to many “neighbors” can be abstract, general, and impersonal. The Good Samaritan is moved with pity when he sees the half-naked man. The Greek word means “to feel deeply or viscerally” and “have compassion.” This compassion is not merely internal. It compels the Samaritan to actively intervene even at risk to his own safety and take whatever means is necessary to restore the man to health. Are we willing to go to such lengths of love and compassion, particularly for our brothers and sisters who suffer from the effects of both Covid-19 and racial violence?
Currently, our nation is in the grips of social turmoil following the death of George Floyd at the hands of the police. My wife Kathi who is a clinical social worker recently wrote in a Facebook post about the importance of empathy in race relations: “Black people have not been heard and their experiences have been discounted for generations. . . . Remember what is feels like to be discounted? Let yourself remember for a moment. The discounting was likely done by someone you thought cared about you! That discounting hurts so deeply. It crushes trust; it bruises self-worth and dignity. Maybe you have been lied to, or worse, lied about. Remember what that felt like? If you experienced childhood abuse of any kind, remember what it was like if you told and no one believed you. . . . Let yourself get in touch with that experience—and stand up in large and small ways against all forms of mistreatment of those, our unheard brothers and sisters.”
Conclusion
Just before he was killed, Dr. King said in a church in Memphis that “the ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and moments of convenience, but where he stands in moments of challenge and controversy. The true neighbor is the man who will risk his position, his prestige, and even his life for the welfare of others. His altruism will not be limited to safe places, but it will move through dangerous valleys and hazardous pathways to lift some bruised and beaten brother to a higher and more noble life.”
If we take Jesus seriously, we must then ask ourselves, “To whom will I be a neighbor?” What kind of person will I become? In our current cultural context of deep social, racial, and religious divisions, identity politics, and radical individualism, these questions are not easily answered, much less acted upon. May God give us the grace to do so!
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